Quentin's Birth Story
A very uncomplicated pregnancy turned quite complicated at my 34 week OB appointment when my blood pressure was extremely high. As a 35 year old, I was already at a higher risk for high blood pressure and preeclampsia, so my OB had me on low dose aspirin for the entirety of my pregnancy as a precaution. It may be why I was able to avoid the high BP earlier in my pregnancy, but it was quite a shock. We often associate high BP with lack of exercise, poor diet, stress, or essentially something within our control. As someone who had never experienced high BP before, I felt like I’d done something wrong or that there was something I could do to correct it, but it was completely out of my control and caused by my pregnancy. The only way to end it and get my BP back to normal is to have the baby and end the pregnancy. I was sent to the hospital after that appointment to get monitored and luckily was sent home.
Initially, it was just gestational hypertension because I was just below the 160/110 mark at 158/85 to be considered preeclampsia, but my OB scheduled non-stress tests twice weekly for the remainder of my pregnancy and essentially told me I would be induced at 37 weeks. WHAT? I only had 3 more weeks to prepare for this baby?? I’m NOT READY!!! Queue the flood of emotions and stress of trying to get my business ready for my short absence and not having any time left with my husband and realizing all I’d miss once baby arrived.
Pregnancy is such a mixture of emotions. I did not enjoy it and that felt so hard to share as I never want to dishonor anyone’s journey who might see those feelings as ungrateful or who has struggled with pregnancy or fertility. I was excited to be a mom, but also excited to gain back my body, especially at this late stage knowing that my life was at such a risk due to this condition. I’ve linked up some info on preeclampsia (which I did get diagnosed with a week later when I hit that upper 160 number on the blood pressure reading) as it is an extremely serious issue that can cause long term damage to mothers and risks to baby. Luckily, Quentin was doing just fine inside my belly, and I was the one at risk.
Birth Plan
After much research, I had created our birth plan around 32 weeks. I knew I wanted things to happen as naturally as possible and was grateful that the hospital and OB group I’d chosen worked hard to honor those things already (no epistiotomy, vacuum, forcep use unless absolutely necessary; low c-section rate; the golden hour after birth). Those were all very important to me in our birth plan. Once I found out we would have an induction, I was pretty bummed. I knew that labors that occurred naturally went more quickly and were a bit easier on your body. Induction usually was more painful and I was hoping to go without an epidural because forgoing pain meds could avoid stalling labor. Let me just say that bummed feeling only lasted a day or two. I quickly got over it. I’ve had a lot of moms message me saying it’s okay to be bummed or sad that your birth didn’t go as planned, but that couldn’t be further from the truth for me. While I was disappointed initially, my husband and I always had at the forefront of our mind that my and the baby’s health was the biggest priority so I was happy we were moving forward and I wasn’t going to fight to keep our son inside to term because it wasn’t worth the risk to me. My son would need me even more after delivery and I needed to make sure I could be there. However I had to bring Quentin into the world would be the best way to do it and I fully trusted my medical team.
Induction
I spent the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy in panic mode - not really the best thing for labor to have so much tension in your body, but I got everything done that I needed to and it was go time. We got to the hospital on Saturday, January 16th at 11 am. My OB had prepped me that the induction would take some time. They would give me a pill to soften my cervix which could take 9 hours to work (I was completely closed and 0% effaced when I went in), followed by a balloon that would be inserted to manually dilate my cervix which could stay in for up to 24 hours and would only get me to 3 cm dilated, and then they would start pitocin to get me fully dilated. I was expecting Quentin to arrive sometime on Monday.
He was ready to come much sooner. My water broke around 3 pm on Saturday - which I must say is the weirdest thing. It’s like peeing yourself and having zero control. I thought this was a good sign that things were progressing! The high risk OB was on call at the hospital that day, and he came by and said he was a little bummed my water had broken. While you often hear that you have to deliver within 24 hours of your water breaking to avoid infection to the baby, it’s not necessarily true. It just meant they had to limit checking my cervix to avoid risking the infection so we’d have to check strategically. He knew I wanted to deliver vaginally, but said that if a c-section was necessary we’d just have to cross that bridge when we got there. At this point, I shifted my mindset and this is where some of those valuable tools I’ve learned from marathon training and racing came into play. I couldn’t spend any time worrying about what was or could go wrong. I had to readjust my mindset to get through the challenges as they arose.
Because my water broke, we had to skip the balloon and move straight to pitocin in the hopes that it would help me dilate and progress things. They also had to constantly monitor the baby which meant I was pretty stuck in bed, another thing I didn’t want. Since my BP kept reading high, they put me on a high dose of magnesium and an IV. I felt super hot once the magnesium went in and very tired. It was awful. My contractions started to feel like awful period cramps, but they were manageable. Ricky ordered us a pizza from our favorite place around 6 pm, which would be the last thing I ate until the baby’s arrival the next morning and I was sooooo happy we got to eat that! Those carbs fueled me! Shortly after that, the nurse checked me and said I was already 4 cm dilated - great, things were moving! Almost halfway there!
Around 9:30 pm, my contractions were through the roof painful. I was exhausted and in tears. The nurse came in and kept checking my blood pressure and that’s when I got the through the roof reading of 197/95. Yikes. They kept offering me morphin since it was early on, but I didn’t want any other pain medications - an epidural was the only thing in my birth plan I knew I would be okay with, so I kept refusing. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could manage the pain though or how I could push a baby out if I continued to feel this exhausted. I was worried taking the epidural too early would stall things. The tension in my body was making it hard to breath through it all. Ricky knew not to offer me the epidural and that I would ask for it when I was ready. 30 minutes later, I was ready. The nurse checked me again and I was 7 cm dilated. Great - only 3 more centimeters. This was the time. I asked for the epidural.
They called the anesthesiologist, but at the same time I wanted my epidural there was an emergency c-section she had to be at, so they sent the resident anesthesiologist. She ran through the waiver I had to accept and they sat me up so I could get the needle inserted. She looked at my back and asked if I had scoliosis. What? No, I don’t. Well your back is curved. I have always had more muscle growth on my right side because I played soccer for so many years and favored that side of my body which makes my muscles look imbalanced, but had never been diagnosed with scoliosis. So she worked to get the spinal needle in, but it was off-balance. She tried again. My tendons and ligaments in my spine were so tight that it was hard for her to get it in with each attempt. She started to sound a bit nervous, so the nurses asked if the other anesthesiologist could come after the c-section to get it placed correctly. She gave me the spinal injection which offered temporary relief, but about 10 minutes after she was gone, I could feel everything again. When they laid me back down on the bed, I could see this huge puddle of blood under me from all the injections she tried to place and was mortified something would go wrong and I would lose use of my legs, but I also knew I couldn’t last without some help and needed the epidural to work.
The nurses called the anesthesiologist and she would still be 30 minutes more. Ricky helped me breath through each contraction and after 7 minutes, I asked how much longer! Things were getting rough and at this point I was worried I wouldn’t be able to sit still through a contraction to get the epidural placed. Finally, the anesthesiologist came in. She also told me I had scoliosis. Okkkkkk just get that shit in my back so I can rest!!!
She finally got it in and I was so relieved. The nurses were wonderful and held my hands while I was contracting and kept me still (I guess pre-covid they didn’t allow any partners or others in the room during epidurals, but now they have to stay in the room but have to stay away and off to the side so Ricky was there but couldn’t offer me any comfort). The epidural was incredible - I couldn’t feel anything. My BP immediately came down to 145/85 (not great, but improved) once the epidural was in. I knew I needed to sleep. Ricky started my playlist during the epidural and the music was calming (lots of Bon Iver and The National), and that helped relax me after it was placed despite how traumatizing it was. The nurses turned off the lights in the room and I was able to close my eyes.
The Final Push
Around 1:45 am, my nurse came in and asked how I was feeling. She told me the baby’s HR had dropped a bit during the last few contractions, so she wanted to check me again. We were at 10 cm!!! Now was time to push!!! So I pushed - and with an epidural, that was definitely the hard part. Not being able to feel my lower body, contractions, or vagina meant I had to push when the nurses told me and hope I was doing it right.
Ricky held one of my legs while a nurse held the other and another nurse massaged my perineum to help prepare and guide the baby out. I pushed for over 2 hours - not surprising because it was my first and I didn’t have much time towards the end of my pregnancy to work on relaxing my pelvic floor. They were starting to see his head crowning, but I just felt a lot of pressure on my butt! They kept asking me if I wanted to touch his head and I kept declining. I wanted to stay in position because I was getting him out so I didn’t want to risk moving, but also… no, I don’t want to feel what’s happening to my vagina right now! Each contraction was getting more intense because I finally felt the urge to push and didn’t have to wait for the nurses to tell me a contraction was happening.
Finally, the doctor showed up and it was really go time! I pushed hard and HOLY SHIT it felt like the epidural wore off! It didn’t, but that’s how intense the pain was. Okay his head was out and one of his hands came with his head, but now another big push for his shoulders. That one hurt too. Finally his shoulders were out and the doctor said,
Do you want to pull your baby out?
No, thank you.
Pull your baby out!
Okay!!!
I grabbed Quentin under his arms and pulled him onto my belly at 5:22 am. By far one of the best experiences of that day and I’m so glad the doctor insisted. Nurses flooded the room. The doctor asked if Ricky wanted to cut the cord and another nurse started cleaning the baby’s face while he laid on my chest and finally started crying.
The doctor started stitching me up. I asked how bad the tears were and he said it was just a slight second degree - whew, thank goodness. Then we got to spend some time with the baby and each other. It felt like it went by so fast.
Postpartum
The nurse shift change was at 7 am and at 8 am they got me ready to move to a postpartum room. The nurse took me over to the bathroom to pee, but I couldn’t. Sometimes after you get an epidural you lose control over your bladder. They ended up inserting a catheter which was a really good thing because I would move to postpartum and still be hooked up to a BP machine and my magnesium drip for at least 24 hours which made using the restroom a big task and one I couldn’t do on my own.
I thought we’d be able to go home on Monday night, over 24 hours after the baby was born but I was very wrong. I knew that preeclampsia could continue after delivery for several weeks, but wasn’t truly aware of the risks I faced. The magnesium drip was horrendous. It left my body feeling like jello, but it was intended to prevent me from suffering a seizure in the first 24 hours following labor. Once they took out my catheter, I still needed the nurse’s assistance to detach from everything and use the restroom and my legs felt like they were going to give out at any moment (bless L&D and postpartum nurses. They are literal angels for all they do).
The only way I was able to keep the baby in our room was because Ricky was able to stay with us. I couldn’t fully care for Quentin on my own while on magnesium and even while off it, I was still at risk for blood clots, stroke, liver damage, and pulmonary edema. My BP was being constantly monitored to figure out the proper dosage of BP medication to keep me in a healthy enough range to discharge me, which took until Tuesday evening. During this time, it was hard to fully rest. My BP was taken hourly sometimes with a nurse coming in to check on the reading or to do it manually again if it read very high.
I hated being in the hospital and wanted to go home, but Monday evening one of Quentin’s nurses noticed he was a bit yellow, tested him for jaundice, and had to take him to the nursery to be put under the lights to help him recover. I was devastated. They would bring him back every 3 hours to nurse, but I didn’t want him out of my sight (covid and everything that had happened to me felt overwhelming enough and now they needed to take my baby). I cried, my BP spiked, and they had to keep monitoring. In hindsight, it was truly the best thing that we were all in the hospital. If we had gone home and I realized later that he had jaundice and had to bring him back to the hospital, there was no way I could stay with him or be there every 3 hours to feed him. After 12 hours, Quentin was doing much better and he was able to stay in our room again. Every day I asked the doctor on staff if I could go home. Every time they took my BP, I tried to relax and breathe so we could leave. Finally, on Wednesday, the high risk OB who delivered Quentin was back on shift and he said we could go home. I’d be on the highest dose of BP medication they could give me and I had to monitor my BP daily, but we were leaving!
The last couple weeks have been challenging. I’ve had to go in and get my BP checked again, passed a large blood clot that had me back in the office for an exam, and had to go to a couple pediatrician appointments for Quentin to ensure the jaundice had really cleared. The good things have been that breastfeeding has gone better than expected, Quentin surpassed his birth weight at just 8 days old, and my blood pressure is finally returning to normal ranges and I should be able to come off the medication in another 2 weeks.
Because of my condition, it’s been hard to think about working out or what that looks like since exercise or activity increases blood pressure. We went out for our first walk 9 days postpartum and I was out of breath after 20 minutes. I got the Expecting and Empowered postpartum guide to start on breathing exercises these first 6 weeks to engage my pelvic floor and core, but haven’t done any of it and want to emphasize that this is OKAY. I’ve truly been focused on healing, resting, staying fueled and hydrated, enjoying this time with my one and only baby and husband, and not thinking too far ahead. Every postpartum journey is different and I want to encourage all mamas to take their time. I’m excited to share more about the fitness side of things once I’m back at it. Thanks for taking the time to read this far and for all the support and love you’ve sent our way!
J
